The Actual Draft from March (non-edited)

Why do guys have to be assholes? Don't get me wrong I am one too. I blame it on my ovaries and the fact that I never really fully grew out of my tomboy state. So, literally, posts before I was barfing over the fact that I "did it right this time". Mind you much time has elapsed between posts and I left you in the dark as to the heart ripping out business. Well, crap, maybe I really didn't do it right this time. I mean, of course, I am perfect and haven't messed up the love equation in any way shape or form (insert eye rolling), but sweet Jesus what does this heffer want from me. I'm trying not to be a "nag", but if me asking you to do something equates to me being a nag, then I forever will be a nag. Why is it that when you ask me to do something you're not nagging? Is that just the male thing to say; my old lady is a nag. If we don't "nag" you don't know what we want and therefore you get mad when we blow up. Isn't it happy wife happy life? Here's the formula: Sex/take the trash out(the blow job-that time of the month)(leaving work at a decent hour+extra curricular activities)=the girl nagging...really? If you would have just taken the trash out like you said you would before I asked again then I wouldn't have asked again. It's really not about taking the trash out, but you know what I mean. And if it's been a while, use the FOIL system; First Outer Inner Last. (and if you tell me it doesn't make sense I will hurt you). Like Janet (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty) said that's the way love goes. And seriously if this is really how it goes all the time you can have your love, I'd rather be single!

Reasons I LIKE Today

*I kicked ass in one of my meetings (and by kicking ass I also kicked someone else's ass for not knowing what the hell they're talking about; eloquently)
*I finished a project for the BIG boss
*My tummy/heart feels much better than yesterday
*I'm having a banana split for dinner (how's that for a cheat day)

Yes, I know that title threw you off. Today I am thankful, but tomorrow may be another story.

I May Not Have Done it Right this Time?

This must have been bothering me for some time as I had a draft of an earlier post from March. Here I was all puppies, kitties, and those damn floaty hearts when actually I was fighting an internal battle. I constantly over analyze (one word apparently, shut up) things; therefore relationships are not out of said analysis. I always wonder am I good enough, doing enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, engaging enough, smart enough..you get the picture. Obviously, I know deep down that I'm the shit (plain and simple); with flaws of course, but teeny tiny ones. I think I spend so much time in thought that I don't just let things happen and/or naturally run their course. I'm a tough broad, yet I get in a relationship, this one in particular, and I turn into a church mouse. WTF how does that happen? Perhaps it's because I don't want to boil the ocean, or cause a scene, or just mess things up. And we all know that keeping things to oneself is not a good idea based on the classic saying, "A woman does not burp or fart, therefore she must bitch or she will blow up." Ok, possibly not the best analogy, but you know what I'm getting at. I am happy to report that after a long overdue conversation things are back on track. I have a peace about things again and the communication is at it's best. I know it won't be at this pace forever, but it's good to know that a simple chat can reconnect us.

FAIL For the Umpteenth Time

GAH! I swear I've said over and over that I was going to keep up this time. And just when I get back up life knocks ya down again. Well more so work, but you know what I mean. I look back at what I've gone through this past year and sweet Jesus it's really been a lot. Between the ever present work drama, family drama, new life, and death it really has taken a toll on me, yet somehow I manage to press on. Sure I bitch along the way, shut up. I wish I would have documented all the things, not so much to be uber personal, but just to share in that raw human emotion and, hey, maybe even to help out someone who (doesn't) reads this thing. I mean you never know whose life you're going to touch, right. Moving on; getting sappy. So let's recap friends:


*Still in love (yet had my heart ripped out and stepped on, then taped, glittered, and put back with a gangsta lean)
*Still stressed out at work (morons I tell you)
*Still dealing with family drama (ABSOLUTELY no comment)
*Loving the new life growing quickly before my eyes (could gush for days)
*Ever present death (tre emo, but a sad reality the older I get)