And Then Punk Rock Dads Said It's Ok Too

WTF is going on? My mother has stepped her game up
She planted that guy at the car dealership that said we'd get an extra discount
There are, of course, the endless family members who really don't count
The relentless heifers at work because they're knocked up and miserable, and you should be too
The girl at Nordstrom
The Chinese lady down the street
The young girl at the ice cream shop (is that supposed to be shoppe?)
Jesus is there an epidemic?
And because she is always outdoing herself
Somehow she made friends with Jay Mohr
Then she forgot to tell me she was cool with Pennywise and Rancid
Flea has kids?
I'm not ready yet!

The Night Jay Mohr Convinced me to Have Kids*

Not my mother, not my friends, not the dumb broads at work
But Jay Mohr
He was real, he was honest, and he made it funny
He made me feel it's ok to have kids
I will mess up
I might even drop one
My life will be over
But I'll make it
I also decided that I'm going to marry you** so I never come home to an empty house
And I will have you there to watch TV with, always
Sportscenter, Real Housewives (I see you watching), Breaking Bad
Now I need to get ready for bed

*The verdict is still out, but it got me thinking
**Sorry, not you Jay

I'm Used

To the let down
I'm not used
To being happy
So when you came along I didn't know how to react
Inside I wanted to burst at the seams
But outside I wouldn't show you how I was feeling

*Why do I over analyze these damn things instead of just posting the first thing that comes to mind