Reasons I Hate Today

#1 Holy shit ovaries

#2 Working in the office instead of from home

#3 Allergies are also in attack mode

#4 People setup meetings then didn't show up because they took the day off

#5 Craaaaamps

#6 Bark

Dear Angry Mini Van Moms,
For the record I think you are lovely ladies, even in your pjs with your bed head. I'm sure you hate getting up in the morning just as much as I do. Not only are you getting yourself ready, you are also readying your pack of wolves. I'm sure it sucks waiting in the school line to drop off your creature, then having to turn around to head home or perhaps go straight to the office. I'm sure you probably hate driving a van. All those things considered please do not take it out on me. When I nicely beep my horn to let you know 'hey your light has been red for a bit, you probably should get out of the intersection' please do not give me satan eyes. Sure I don't want to miss my light, but most importantly I do not want ON COMING traffic to smash your car into coupe size. Continuing to stay in the intersection while flipping me off, and swearing at me (all while your window is rolled up) only makes me laugh. I do hope it makes you feel better though. If I could calm your rage I would, trust me. In conclusion, I have mad respect for you. Pretty sure I couldn't do what you do.


Hope you had a great day,
Litas


P.S. No, I'm not a mom
P.P.S. I get it it's tough
P.P.P.S. Again, please don't take it out on me

You know Your Day is Amazing When


#1 You think the coffee carafe is empty and pour hot coffee on your hand in an attempt to rinse it out
#2 You drop the ear pad to your headset in your salad
#3 While on a conference call
#4 You tell people a meeting will start 5 mins late, and then they decline because you ended up being 5 mins late
#5 Your sandal has had enough of your foot and jumps off
#6 Emergency meeting, but no one can explain what the issue is 

151


Damn right bitches. It should be less than that, but I'm trying. Ok, I'm not really trying. I am being lazy (and fat) and unmotivated. Some days I can control how much I eat and what I eat, then there are days when I eat cheerios (multi-grain, yummy) with bananas, popcorn, and an ice cream sundae all within 3 hours. DON'T JUDGE ME. I am just being honest here. My stomach jiggles something fierce; like in the front AND on the sides. Gross. My butt looks extra juicy (which I like) and my boobs are bigger (which I also like), but I feel like a blob. Yes, I know I can change this. Why can't I pull myself together to just do it? 50 days and counting. Hurry up Litas.

Down for the Count


I woke up with an awful headache. Thought it was the typical sinus headache, but quickly realized it was a bit more than that. Don't know what brought it on, but I know I'm suffering. Ate a little bit of food and trying to keep it down. In between naps I've been on conference calls and answering emails, which has not helped my current status. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who, when they don't feel good, just unplug and let things lie for a day or so. Me, on the other hand, I will try and let go, but that will only last for a couple hours. Then I start to feel anxious and I think about what is going on that I am not controlling. Yes, I am a control freak. It's very hard for me to give the reins to someone else, or let people do their own job. I wouldn't call myself a micro-manager, per say, but I quietly look over shoulders until I need to get involved. Unfortunately, for the past year or so, I am always doing this. The reason for this is because I cannot rely on people. Even when they have all of the data in front of their face they still do things wrong. Even when I coach them and train them, they will still do something wrong. This is why I get so aggravated at times. This is why I feel like I fail at times. I try not to take it personally because there is only so much I can control. And as quick as I say it, I end up taking it personally. I only hope I am making a difference. For now though it's time to shut down literally and figuratively.

Dear Future Fetus,
Hi, it's your mom. There's something I wanted to get off of my chest. I'm not sure if I can do this. I thought by now I'd know, but yeah no. I'm sure it'd be cool to have a little you; tiny sweet little ball of fur. How awesome would it be to hardly get any sleep for the first couple of months you're alive. Oh and I'm sure you'll keep me up before you even make it into the world. That feeling of butterflies (aka mortal kombat in my belly) tre exciting and bonding. To incessantly cleanup poop and spit up. To get poked and prodded, before and after. I hear, even with all things considered, it's the best thing that can happen to someone. I'm sure that's true to an extent, but still not sure if it's for me. Look, I'm a selfish person. I like to sleep in, come and go as I please, and not have to worry about killing something because I wasn't around to feed/water/change it. Not to mention I'd be responsible for you for 18 years (yeah yeah I know more than that). I think about what I put my mom through, and then I think of you. Obviously, I was way better than my siblings, but still I know I gave my mom heartburn; and probably still do. Everyone says they want to do better and more than their parents did, and so do I. I will not put you through what I went through. But what if I fail? What if I let you down? I know you won't always like me, but what if I can't always give you the best? What if I end up sucking at this shit? I don't want you resenting me, even though at some point you will by hormonal default. Long story short I'm just not sure about you. Not saying no, but definitely not saying yes. Please be patient with me because my mom sure isn't.


Love,
Potential Mom

You Know You Haven't Slept Enough


When you can still taste the alcohol
Your sleep just feels like you blinked for a long time
Your boobs are still sweaty from dancing like an animal
The pillow hasn't even creased your face
Nor have eye boogers formed
Your feet still hurt from dancing like said animal