Down for the Count


I woke up with an awful headache. Thought it was the typical sinus headache, but quickly realized it was a bit more than that. Don't know what brought it on, but I know I'm suffering. Ate a little bit of food and trying to keep it down. In between naps I've been on conference calls and answering emails, which has not helped my current status. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who, when they don't feel good, just unplug and let things lie for a day or so. Me, on the other hand, I will try and let go, but that will only last for a couple hours. Then I start to feel anxious and I think about what is going on that I am not controlling. Yes, I am a control freak. It's very hard for me to give the reins to someone else, or let people do their own job. I wouldn't call myself a micro-manager, per say, but I quietly look over shoulders until I need to get involved. Unfortunately, for the past year or so, I am always doing this. The reason for this is because I cannot rely on people. Even when they have all of the data in front of their face they still do things wrong. Even when I coach them and train them, they will still do something wrong. This is why I get so aggravated at times. This is why I feel like I fail at times. I try not to take it personally because there is only so much I can control. And as quick as I say it, I end up taking it personally. I only hope I am making a difference. For now though it's time to shut down literally and figuratively.