And I Thought of You


The movie was almost over and I was proud of myself for not getting chocked up. I mean I can handle a movie about cancer and not think about you. It's been so long this stuff shouldn't bother me anymore. Well it did. the last half hour or so of the movie had me in tears. I couldn't help myself. I even did that sniffle snort thing. I was going to apologize, but then said I don't care who sees me. I'm allowed to hurt. Plus the room was dark and I could totally cover up the sniffle snort because I was sick. Seeing him laying in the hospital hugging his parents made me think of you in yours, but you were probably not aware of what was going on. At least I hope you were not aware. I hope you just drifted off to sleep. I'm still mad at myself for not being there. I was in 3rd period, British Lit, if I recall. It didn't dawn on me that when one of the girls, a few seats behind me, got up and left in tears it was because of you. It was because you said I'm not going to suffer anymore. That day and week to follow are a blur, but there are bits and pieces I still remember. Mostly I remember you, and all the moments we had together.