Couch


I am afraid to get on you. I talked about visiting you, but can't seem to bring myself to do it. I am not against it anymore. I think it is invaluable for some, perhaps me too. You yourself do not scare me. What scares me is what you will make me say. The past couple of years have been tough enough and, with that, things I did not know about, or had buried so deep managed to rise to the top. What if I get too deep and cannot come back? What if your cushions suck me into a vortex that I am too weak to crawl out of? What if I'm different and not for the better? Yeah yeah, but what if it works. What if I'm able to break whatever has been holding me down. What if those dreams finally stop. But what if I end up being more fucked up than I started? What if I unleash some monster that I'm scared is hiding inside of me? I've worked too hard for too long to let this all go. Most importantly I am ready to settle, finally, but not ready to settle in hell.