And Then Punk Rock Dads Said It's Ok Too

WTF is going on? My mother has stepped her game up
She planted that guy at the car dealership that said we'd get an extra discount
There are, of course, the endless family members who really don't count
The relentless heifers at work because they're knocked up and miserable, and you should be too
The girl at Nordstrom
The Chinese lady down the street
The young girl at the ice cream shop (is that supposed to be shoppe?)
Jesus is there an epidemic?
And because she is always outdoing herself
Somehow she made friends with Jay Mohr
Then she forgot to tell me she was cool with Pennywise and Rancid
Flea has kids?
I'm not ready yet!

The Night Jay Mohr Convinced me to Have Kids*

Not my mother, not my friends, not the dumb broads at work
But Jay Mohr
He was real, he was honest, and he made it funny
He made me feel it's ok to have kids
I will mess up
I might even drop one
My life will be over
But I'll make it
I also decided that I'm going to marry you** so I never come home to an empty house
And I will have you there to watch TV with, always
Sportscenter, Real Housewives (I see you watching), Breaking Bad
Now I need to get ready for bed

*The verdict is still out, but it got me thinking
**Sorry, not you Jay

I'm Used

To the let down
I'm not used
To being happy
So when you came along I didn't know how to react
Inside I wanted to burst at the seams
But outside I wouldn't show you how I was feeling

*Why do I over analyze these damn things instead of just posting the first thing that comes to mind

Please Do Not Tell Me


That I am not technical enough
That I do not use the proper terms
That I do not understand the real issue
The truth of the matter is you are not technical
Nor can you properly define the term
And you wouldn't know what the problem was even if it's written down

You Are


The brightest part of my life
The end.

5'5" and 113 Lbs


Shut the hell up. That's what I told myself as I read the reviews for a dress I liked. Of course my friend decides to have a WHITE party. Apparently she has not seen my ass lately. Luckily I found a dress (with a pattern because come on) and while it's really cute, again, my ass, wow. I thought maybe if I found something else that is a little more flowy I wouldn't feel like I was screaming, "Look at me in a WHITE dress!" While me and said reviewer are the same height I have a good 40lbs on her. It also puts me on the cusp of being overweight (thanks BMI calculator); her on the cusp of being shut the hell up. What I'm trying to say is I care now. I said I didn't before, but I do now. Yet I still have no desire to change. What the hell is the matter with me? All I know is WHITE is happening and I only have until Saturday to figure something out. I got her a good birthday present too, bitch.

Don't Want to


Today I am out of it. I just wanted to pull the covers back over my head and sleep. I feel hungover. Slow to respond, head all foggy, and heavy eyes. I shouldn't feel this way. I slept the day away yesterday, only waking for dinner with the family. Perhaps that's why I feel the way that I do. It's just lately I feel as if I can't get enough sleep. Work has been mentally exhausting and by the time 5PM rolls around my speech is no longer coherent. My brain just stops. It has reached it's daily limit and shuts itself down. I go home, make dinner, and zone out on the couch. I wonder if it's just time for a vacation again. I am starting to think, though, that is only a temporary band-aid for sanity.