I Was All by Myself

No one was looking. I was thinking of you. Man I loved me some Green Day back in the day. I loathed their album title as it was akin to one of my nicknames, Duke. I'll save that story of torture for later. Due to recent developments I now have a void in my life. And while I'm working through forgiving this void, I'm also dealing with feeling lonely. Please don't take out your tiny violin. How many times I wanted to pickup the phone and just ramble about all the crap that is going on right now. How many times I wanted to hang out and shoot the poop, not literally. How many times I wished we could hit up the batting cages, or the driving range. Alas, we cannot do that anymore. Losing a friend sucks. The last one I lost was in 4th grade because I was a punk little girl. Friends have drifted apart through the years as we've grown older and become our own identities. This was not drifting this was forced. I try to keep my mind preoccupied, but then POOF there you are. Holding up memories of things we used to do together. Reminding me of all the sweet things you did. Oh wait, then I see all the times you hurt me. All the things I let slide which, now looking back, were probably signs this should have happened sooner. I am angry about what happened, but more so I am mad at myself for allowing certain things to happen. At the end of my day I'm sitting on my couch, alone. Just me, my dinner, and Drew Pinsky. And when the sandman kicks enough sand in my eyes I groggily stumble off to bed and hope you'll meet me in my dreams.

All by myself....fade out