I'm trying to turn a new leaf, but my arms are sore

Ms. Litas has decided to get her ass back in shape. I was presented with a proposal that made my little ears perk up (they look like elf ears sans point). This proposal requires some serious ass kicking in the gym and a "lifestyle" change when it comes to my eating. Yeah it's a diet, but it has good stuff on it. Last night was the assessment. Considering that I've been going to the gym for the past month I failed miserably. Going twice a week doesn't really count. I mean it is something, but not really impressive. Progress reports will follow. As I raise my protein shake to what's to come, I hope no one has to peel me off of the floor.